PHONE

The telephone is the worst invention ever made – it has been used by countries to connive among and against each other, it has allowed extraterrestial beings to locate us and download our porn from their highly developed membranes, it has given rise to call centers, telemarketers, prank callers and basically anything that comprises unwanted conversations.

Today I wanted to sleep. May 28, 2007 is Memorial Day in the US, a national holiday. That means extended bed time for overworked, underpaid, boss-stressed insomniacs. But the phone wouldn’t let me.

Mom had been receiving calls from her friends. Surprisingly, at 10am, my brothers were getting calls from their friends too. (I wonder how they could be morning-people during vacation; throughout the school-year they could barely get out of bed.) It was one phone call after another; ringing like an alarm clock, sending quaint noises to my ear that filled me with madness.

It was at the tenth straight phone call that I snapped. I ground my teeth, got up, stormed the hall onto the living room, charged toward the phone, picked it up and screamed at the mouthpiece with sheer anger.

“HEEELLOOOOOW!!!”

And.. what do you know, it’s a priest.

I was dumbfounded. It was like a cheap prank from heaven. “What you gonna now, Paolo? Scream at a priest?” That or the devil must be on my trail.

Whatever.

The phone shall live another day.

End notes:
The priest asked for my mom. weird.

19 thoughts on “PHONE

  1. it has allowed extraterrestial beings to locate us and download our porn from their highly developed membranes

    *sigh* Things happen when great inventions fall on the wrong hands.

  2. Diyan pumapasok ang mga tanong na katulad ng “What has science done?!”

    Anumang ginawang bagay sa mundo, kapag abuso na sa gamit, e talagang nakaririndi at nakapipinsala sa human ecosystem.

    I do have the same experience.

    Jake: (pikon at suya) HELLO?!
    Phone: Jake, anak, mama mo ‘to.
    Jake: (nalusaw) Oh, hi mom.

  3. Ahhaha! Yan na ang cellphone na inaabuso ng sobra-sobra! nakakainis ung mga prankster na yan! Walang magwa sa buhay! Buti n lng silent ung cp ku.

  4. Ringing phones while your still trying to sleep. One of the things I hate on sundays! Grrr … buti sana kung sayo no? Bad trip.

  5. @poli
    yup. kilala namin.

    @joyfulchicken
    it’s abstract… everyone’s entitled to their own interpretation. 😉

    @vernaloo
    they might be talking about me going to hell.

    @nicole
    exactly, pretty soon those aliens will learn the helicopter.

    @rhey
    you’ll have your time. 🙂

    @jake
    lolz. someday mangyayari din ‘yan kay rhey. 🙂

    @zerovoltage
    still cant get enough of your calvin vid.

    @beekeetot
    tenks tenks

    @lady cess
    mabait talaga ako! misinterpreted lang. *insert evil laugh*

    @fave
    i’m a link-whore, what’s yours?

  6. btw, this is the reason why i wanna get a comments section like chicken mafia’s.. so i can engage my visitors without looking like i’m trying too hard. ahehehe.

    is there no way for threaded comments to be done with blogger?

  7. i’ve developed the ability to ignore the phone. when i don’t feel like talking i could let it ring, ring and ring and pretend i hear nothing :p

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