CALL CENTER CONVERSATIONS

I love talking to marketers, I treat them like they’re my friends. I am especially fond of marketers when I’ve just woken up. Lesson in the animal kingdom: when you wake me up, you deal with me!

This is one of those conversation…

girl: sir, can I take two minutes of your time?
me: sure, but I’ll use two minutes of your time too.
girl: ok sir, (and she begins to explain her product, a long distance phone service to the Philippines)

after explaining…

me: ok, my turn!?
girl: yup, what is it about?
me: (gets a Bible and starts to read the Revelations)

after five minutes…

girl: sir, your two minutes is up.
me: wait, hold on! i’m almost done! (I continue to read)
girl: (waits for awhile again then says) sir, i have alot of other things to do. Are you gonna subscribe or not?
me: (then, out of nowhere) Ok, can I talk to your manager?!

The girl was surprised by my sudden question. I explained to her that I wanted to talk to her manager coz I would like to be assured that my personal information was gonna be safe in case I gave it over the phone. She calls the manager.

manager: hello sir, this is so and so and so on and so forth.
me: I just wanted to be reassured that my personal information wouldn’t go out if in case I subscribed to your long distance…
manager: (explains how the system works)
me: You know, you speak very good english.
manager: Thank you po sir.
me: How about me, do I sound Filipino when I speak english?
manager: no sir.
me: Really!? Y’know there’s gonna be an American Idol auditions here in the weekend. Wanna hear a sample?
manager: ah sir…

I begin to sing even before he could say no. My piece was the infamous Silent Night and I made sure he didn’t like it!

me: Saaaaaylent Nayt. Huuuuli cow. Aaaaall is cam. All iss…
manager: (interrupting my masterpiece) SIR THIS IS A RECORDED CONVERSATION!!! ARE YOU GOING TO SUBSCRIBE OR NOT!?!
me: i’m in a hurry, maybe next time.

BLAG!