MEANT-TO-KILL-YA

Have you ever been to a restaurant that’s out to kill you? That’s what we felt this morning, during lunch, when the food we ordered was drenched in oil.

Mantikilya is the tagalog word for oil. It’s pronunciation similar to Meant-to-Kill-Ya. Our forefathers must’ve figured it out before everybody else!

After eating, our group exchanged final wills and testaments. I finally understood how it was like before you go to heaven – eeky, bloated, wanting to vomit, a feeling of sordidness, hopelessness, deep guilt and that of Hades presence.

End notes:
The picture on here is not of the restaurants, I just found that on the net.
The oil on the food was alot like soup. That’s how bad it was.

THE FUZZ ABOUT QUEUES

Hilarity can be great unless it happens with someone with whom you have feelings for. Meet Ana, a 20 something lady from Chicago. She’s sweet, charming, and I truly wanted to date her… until today.

“Hello Ana, how are you today?” I started by making my normal greeting.

“I’m good, how was your weekend?” She answers. She must be into me. ahehe

…blah blah blah

So we went on to talking business as I had to send files to our head office in Chicago. Ana was assisting me. It would have all gone well until a window appeared with the words SEND ONLY SELECTED QUEUES

Now, this was a new word for me. I did not know what this word meant lest how to say it. This was the conflict of the day: How to pronounce ‘QUEUES?’

“Ana, a window opened and it said…”

“Yes?” Ana asks.

“send only selected…”

I deliberately missed saying QUEUES thinking she would catch it. Hows that for smoothiness, if that’s even a word. However, Ana did not know what the heck I was talking about. She waited for me to finish the sentence. Now I had to come up with a pronunciation!

My mind began to list a matrix of the possible ways to pronounce this ill spelled word. I never even knew such letters could ever go together. A gazillion combinations ran into my kokote, each presenting itself a viable way to pronounce it. Finally, in a nano-second, I have one.

I say slowly. “it said… ‘SEND ONLY SELCTED… KYU-WEE-WEES.”

Shit.

An alarm began to resound in my head “ERROR! ERROR! LOSER! LOSER!” It said repeatedly. In an instant I felt that there was world peace at my expense. A time when the world decided to stop what they were doing only to laugh at me.

Even my soul stepped from my physical body to laugh at me. “Paolo you stupid motherfucker!”

For go’sakes, I know ‘de ja vu’ and ‘coup de etat.’ But this one, in the 25 years I have lived on earth. Why have I never come across it? And how could I have said the one most likely NOT to be the pronunciation? I could I have just said KYU-WEES and it would have slipped on as an honest, non-hilarious mistake. But no, it wouldn’t be competely ME without making a fool of myself.

Ana was polite. Not a slight laugher was to be heard from her. She just said “It’s ‘CUES.'”

I send her the files while, in the silence of the office, I felt like banging my head on the computer. “That’s the word you wanted Paolo! That’s how you pronounce QUEUES!”

Devastated, I would try to make a cool impression for the last time in my life. Though, I could not afford to be smart lest my faulty minds hikes up another boo-boo. I resort to honesty.

“Well” I tell Ana. “They don’t teach these things in school do they?”

Ana smirked. Like I had allowed her to let out what had imploded within her body in the last 20 seconds.

“They didn’t teach me that either.” She answers.

Her polite remark put things back onto perspective. A fitting conclusion. Our relationship shall purely be professional from this point.

LEARN PAGERANK

Google’s pagerank is an algorithm. That means it’s deep and complicated and there’s no way for you to uncover how it really means. Thankfully, there are people who are smarter than you who have revealed the secret of Pagerank to me! Yay!

Pagerank functions as a way to track the value of a site. On the dead of night it lets its monstrous spiders out to check how many one-way links it has, how many page hits it gets, and its content. The report comes out on a Google toolbar where your site is ranked between 1-10, with one being not so important to a pagerank of seven being highly important to a PR10 being like an internet demigod! In short, you should feel proud if you have a high pagerank.

But there is an even bigger purpose for pagerank, especially coming from the making money online industry. If you have better pagerank your articles are priced larger, this because you are taken to be of importance by the internet. If you have a PR5 or 6, you might as well leave your job and stick to the net as your earnings should absolutely be soaring.

The question therefore is, How do you get a high pagerank?

I already mentioned the answer – one-way links, page hits and content – as these are the factors caught and measured by Google to determine what your pagerank is.  Content-wise, I suggest you stick to a niche to make sure that you get top ranking for a certain keyword. As far as one-way links and page hits are concerned, the only way you can build this is by being in the internet for years.

I would advise you to constantly promote your website to gain considerable pagerank.