HOW I WILL BE A BILLIONAIRE

The web master in me has sprung forth. He wants to make websites. And being Filipino, I cannot make sites that tread the realm of originality. I will have to make sites that look like rip-offs of what is more famous.

We all thought this about Yehey and Pinoyster; so here’s more:

1. Fuckr
Fuckr is, like its counterparts, a place where you can upload and share photos. However, Fuckr separates itself from competition because of it’s target market – the sexually deviant – people who wouldn’t care to show us the new sex position that’s sweeping the nation, the landscapes that help them get it on, and the best tasting aphrodisiacs. Fuckr also has a slideshow feature which will allow you to spread your hottie collection.

2. Doodle
Since there are no ad serving sites specifically made for Filipinos, I really think Doodle would be a success. The coolest thing about Doodle is that, unlike its counterparts, you can actually tell people to click on your ads. The reason for this is because (1) it will be corrupted anyway, (2) some other pinoy guy will someday put up a site like this and (3) every pinoy earns from illegal clicks.

3. MyPlace.com
Ok, I checked this and the .com is already taken. So I guess I’ll just get the .ph or something. My original concept of MyPlace.com is, of course, to be a Filipino networking site. But more than that, MyPlace will also invite pedophiles, stalkers, sex addicts and all those notorious people who lurk in MySpace where they are not accepted. MyPlace.com will embrace these kinds of people. This along with pinoy notoriety will surely be one great dysfunctional online community. Astig.

4. YahBoi
Let’s face it, we were never satisfied with Yahoo Philippines. When the week’s top searches include Sam Milby and Miggy Morales (Gee-ann’s ex boyfriend), that’s gotta tell of a connivance with the Kapalmuks Network. This is where YahBoi comes in; this time, for biased search results for GMA. YahBoi will promote GMA shows and talents as well their sponsors and events.

Example, when you look for Sam Milby or Piolo Pascual in YaHBoi, the site will pull up Paolo Ballesteros or Raymond Gutierrez as the network’s girly-men. When you search for Ruffa Gutierrez in YaHBoi, we will be putting Regine Velasquez in the results. By this time next year, I expect half of pinoys to be switching to YahBoi.

5. E-Gay
If there’s one thing we should know about the internet industry, it’s that closet kings and queens lurk in it; not only to hitch but also to engage in commerce. Imagine a site that’s guilt free for both the open and closet homosexual merchants of the Philippines – they can sell toys, books, even pictures of themselves. The colors are already representant of the gay community. More than this, EGay will also organize a payment and shipping scheme with another upcoming site called PayPuhl’. (short for PayPuh-lease!)

6. YourLube
Video blogging sites are now everywhere. But none of them, if you notice, and for good reason, is for the Philippine Escort industry. (Yes! It’s an Industry) This is where YourLube come’s in. Imagine prostitution through the net.. it’s guilt free, legal, you get to choose from the guys and girls that you want, see their profiles, and just contact them if you wanna hitch. I think this is a good business venture because it takes out the middle man, the Pimps. No more risky travels to Luneta, Malate, Timog and Lower Antipolo for you, hornyboi!

I think these sites are gonna be worth billions once they push through. Watchutink?!

34 thoughts on “HOW I WILL BE A BILLIONAIRE

  1. So creative of you to come up these stuff. I had a good laugh while reading every bit of this post.

    Yourlube sounds catchy indeed!

  2. community and sex, video and sex, photos and sex, commerce and sex, ads that actually generate clicks, and a biased search engine

    what’s not to like!

  3. What the? Does this blog post tells me that you’re sexually inclined? You are no different to another blogger. Heard of Jhed, the owner of “The Dork Factor” [http://jhed.asteeg.net/]? Haha.

    Anyway… I’m pretty sure that those sites you’ve mentioned will generate billions of cold-hard dough. Maybe you could be pretty close on beating Yuga’s league. 😛

  4. good gawd!!!
    you’re sick pao.. you’re sick…
    hahahaha

    but the weird thing is… i believe these will sell… hahahaha

    fyi, im stealing internet time at work… hahaha

  5. OMG, this is one of your wickedly funny and creative entries… ever! Good stuff!

    I love it! I’m going to spread this link around in e-mails, haha.

  6. hey pao, i know we’re not that “close” but when you become a billionaire, which i think is not far-fetch idea, would you mind adapting me and my son? in return, i’ll help you become a trillionaire. how’s that?

  7. Hahaha! Good job on the logos.

    Because I have nothing better to do, I checked all the domains you listed. All except yahboi.com are taken. It’s so hard to get a decent domain name nowadays, tsk.

  8. community and sex, video and sex, photos and sex, commerce and sex, ads that actually generate clicks, and a biased search engine

    what’s not to like!

    creative ideas comes out in so much ways when money(power) & sex(leisure) is involved.

    and being evil is really easy!

    *a super evil laugh echoes….*

  9. @dimaks
    baka magalit yung mga egay ang nicknames, lol.. nice creations!

    umm … nickname ba ‘yun ni edgardo? …. versoza

  10. Paolo! Hehe. Tara! Gawin mo itong sites na ito! I’ll back u up! We’ll make millions! 50-50 tau. hehe.

  11. You’re one heck of a smart, creative and delightful philosophical bastard.

    What a way to invite/disinvite non-bloggers to blog.

    I may quarrel with some of your language and topics but I can’t with your galing-galing.

  12. I would love Yiboi.com though. Hehehe. YourLube.com is so funny, it hurts. I’m just wondering where you got your fonts. Hehe.

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