I WANNA BE…

Caucasians have it good in this world. Unlike Asians who thrive under pain and suffering, caucasians will rant about every single thing that isn’t right. And that’s a good thing.

White people (caucasians or, for pinoys, mestizos) have paved the way for the invention of roads, taxes, immigration reform and plastic surgery… all with the underlying cause of making their race the most prominent in the world. They instigated wars, they invented borders, they made their coffee, burgers and soda sound like they’re good for you, and they seem to have a good grasp at the world’s economy.

The Filipino understands the luck these white bastards have in the world and, frankly enough, they wanna have a piece of it. This brings forth an endless clamor in the pinoy community – I wanna be white!

Everything about the Filipino community is driven to be comparable to that of the white breed. Their art, music, infrastructure, facial features, color, legal system etc. We even narrowed our alphabet from 28 to 26 because the two other variations of N will never be featured in Sesame Street.

There may be a few devious creatures who prefer changing their names from Badong to Bad One, or Domeng to The D, or Inday to Shizzy-my-Laundry. But those are a minority.

So in my quest to be white. I have decided that being an American alone wouldn’t give me enough leverage. My nose will never be straight, and my shoe size will never provide the ratio intended for these jerks. I will have to up my game using a very Asian tactic – education.

All for the glory of world domination!!!

22 thoughts on “I WANNA BE…

  1. and all those whitening products filipino women are using these days, breaking down their melanin. tsk, tsk. beauty in exchnage for less risk of skin cancer.

  2. We are already protected from the harms of UV rays, why choose a whiter complexion? foolish act of our fellow citizens.

    change the president, not our skin!

  3. Thanks for dropping by! I wonder about this Asian (not just pinoy) obsession on white skin! I think brown is the best shade–baked just right. 😉

  4. Heyyyy, I’ve been meaning to brush up my French for the longest time. And by ‘brush up’ I mean going beyond reading and writing sentences such as “I went to the office today” or “The soup looks good”.

  5. @helga
    i’ll reserve my french lessons for a future post entitled “the johnny depp in me!”

    mwahahaha

  6. i love how you write… 😀 only a few can play with words like that and enlighten at the same time. you have a gift…

    i’ll surely be back here to get my dose of your philosophies 😀

  7. Hmmm… let me see:

    Plan for World Domination:

    All Filipino immigrants, OFW’s, and seamen (just love that) should be implanted with chips. After they all work for rich companies/people/ships, and make themselves invaluable… They all stop working.

    Global Domination in exchange for Filipinos working again! hahaha.

    Alternatively, they can steal top secret plans (like the Japs did during WWII, and what Ping Lacson’s guy tried to do… but this time, its the yayas and gardeners and mailmen who will get them. (and in the case of George Bush, his chef!).

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