THE INTERVIEW

Below is my response to Anna’s interview:

1. You have written a hit musical. How do you keep fame from going into your head without killing yourself?
There’s a little side story to this. The random question in my blogger profile asked “How do you keep fame from going to your head?” and I answered “I will kill myself.” So, in response to this question, since I am not allowed to kill myself, I’ll just have to kill everybody else instead.

2. What is your take on this quote by Steinbeck (I think): “I will get back at him the cruellest way I know how. I will forget it.”
I quoted once that “Gratitude is a burden and revenge is a pleasure.” He definitely adheres to it.

3. Script in 3-4 lines the funniest, weirdest/most dramatic (take your pick) “stop the wedding scene” you can imagine.
Girly and her father walk down the aisle when an irritating high-pitched voice screams from behind “Stop the wedding! Stop the wedding!”

Whispers abound the church about this man. The priest asks “Isn’t there a time for this? I’m not gonna get paid until I finish the exercise.”

The bride’s father rushes to the man and asks, “Why are you doing this?”

The man leans to the bride’s father and whispers to him “I’m pregnant” and he runs away with the groom.

4. Can one philosophically harass another? Give an example.
Here’s an exerpt of my talk with Demitrios (my ex-boss and the nemesis in The Death of Peter Pan) on November 4, 2005.
Demitrios:
Hey Paolo, It’s you birthday.
Paolo:
Thank you, Demitrios.
Demitrios:
What do you want for your birthday?
Paolo:
I want to be off.

5. You have just won the Palanca for “philosophicalized writing” category. Draft a brief acceptance speech using as many of your invented words as possible.
For an immemorable person who started by cultivating blogarchy …this great body has successfully helped bring my remarkability up with this award. And surely, I have successfully helped bring yours down with my great body. Thank you for this award. Karir!

23 thoughts on “THE INTERVIEW

  1. @bino/geno

    you want me to interview you huh?!

    1. you are in a sinking ship with Cristy Fermin and an ant. Who would you save?
    2. since you opened it up, why do men have nipples?
    3. write a short story about how the La Salle-Ateneo rivalry began.
    4. tell me about your most embarrassing moment.
    5. if your life was turned into a movie.. who would play you? why?

  2. Such bastardly answers worthy of PB!! hehe knock out ako sa answers mo.

    I hope you get to interview more than I got to. hehe

    I’d have wanted to say interview me too but i dont want to ask Qs anymore. (labas dila).

  3. @riverwalker

    you want me to interview you huh?!

    1. you are in an island with Lolit Solis, what kind of meal would you make of her?
    2. you won $100 million. what kind of charity would you not give money to?
    3. you saw a cow that had dentures.. why did he have them?
    4. when you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up.. and why did you not become that person?
    5. If you were a cartoon, which character would you have sex with?

  4. @poli

    you want me to interview you huh?!

    1. you are getting married to KC Concepcion. Why did she pick you?
    2. where did the first wild poodle come from and how did it end up there?
    3. tell me something we do not yet know about you.
    4. sa iyong kwentong H.O.P., which of the characters best resemble you? why?
    5. among your porn collection, review the top 5…

  5. @janis

    you want me to interview you huh?!

    1. In the absence of profanity.. what would you replace the words Fuck, shit and putang-ina with? why?
    2. write a haiku that talks about coffee and the waiter
    3. you are an astronaut, how are you gonna scratch your toes?
    4. tell me of the worst date you’ve ever had.
    5. you have been granted x-ray vision. name the 5 guys on whom you would use it and why.

  6. @cathie

    you want me to interview you huh?!

    1. whats the worst pick up line you’ve heard?
    2. if vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
    3. Richard Gutierrez proposed marriage to you. Why did you say no, and what did Anabelle Rama have to do with it?
    4. what is the biggest misconception guys have over women? explain.
    5. you’ve finally been granted the ability to torture and kill denise.. how are you gonna go about with it?

  7. Such bastardly answers..and questions(!)..I can’t help but ask you to interview me!

    And penguins have knees, according to the book “Do penguins have knees?” (Have you read it?)

  8. @flora

    so you want me to interview you huh?!

    1. when is the best time to brush your teeth. defend your answer.
    2. what is the most misunderstood thing about you?
    3. what part of your blog would you not recommend us to go. why?
    4. given a chance. what part of your body would you donate to Gretchen Baretto? and why would she gladly accept it?
    5. if “opposites attract,” and you say that “life attracts life.” how is life opposite to itself?

  9. @rhey

    fans ka dyan..

    you want me to interview you huh?!

    1. what was the worst dream you’ve ever had?
    2. why is the little mermaid (Ariel) such a bitch?
    3. list your top 5 unlikely crushes. why?
    4. how are you and Imelda Marcos related? what genes do you share?
    5. Angel Gabriel visited you and gave you a message that forced you into a “maniacal laughter.” What was the message? and why did you laugh?

  10. @ann

    you want me to interview you huh?!

    1. what the hell is l’esprit de l’escalier and how are you afflicted with it?
    2. what Tina Turner song best describes you?
    3. you are princess leiah. who is luke skywalker and why did you kiss your brother?
    4. who is your dean and why do you hate her?
    5. the aliens of Planet Z do not have genitalia. how do they have sex?

  11. @saisho

    you want me to interview you huh?!

    1. personally, how have things fallen into place lately?
    2. from a journalist’s point of view, what is the state of the country’s freedom of speech?
    3. Pong Pagong grew up, which of the current senators is he? and why did Kiko Matsing have sex transplant?
    4. tell me about your deepest darkest secret.
    5. jessica alba walked into your room and found you naked. why did she laugh?

  12. @joyfulchicken

    you want me to interview you huh?!

    1. which post/s do you think had you banned in dubai.
    2. how are chickens similar to humans? and what are you holding that knife and fork for?
    3. leonardo da vinci is gay. prove it.
    4. invent five words that best describe you. explain.
    5. which Spice Girls song best describes you? why?

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