CANNOT POOP IN OTHER PLACES


Lesson in the Animal Kingdom: man is a territorial being; he will defend his habitat be it a skwaters area or a mansion for two.

There are several ways by which man expresses ownership of an area, the most common being that of a paper with his signature ..also called a land title.

I am not a fan of land titles – it has created imaginary lines over the world, allowed a few to put cost over that which nobody owns, and has constantly become the cause of wars. All these resulting to the displacement of millions and the death of more.

Still, I crave for land. Just ‘coz I am not a fan of titles doesn’t mean that I should be opposed to having one. It’s like smoking even if you know it’s wrong. After all, what would you have me do? change the world.. bwahaha!

But while waiting for that day when I could feast over mortgage payments, I am only able to express my territoriality like that of the dog’s – namely, by pooping. I am the master of my toilet bowl; nobody poops in it without my permission. It is not conjugal property ..it is only mine! mine! ..my precioussss!!!

This territoriality however turns its back on me when I feel the urge to defecate in other places. I cannot poop in other places.. and I do not become an inhibited person (ma-arte) until confronted with issues of the public toilet.

I prefer my public toilet to be quiet, like a personal space. This because pooping also serves as a reflective time for me. I use it to pause, reflect and look at my life. It is a daily ritual that ends with the flush!

When pooping, I do not put my feet on public toilets as some people do (i know this because the honesty of men can be very futile sometimes); my conio genes does not permit me to contort to such position. Instead I sit on it like a king to his thrown.

Therefore, it will take me twice the amount of time to poop outside of my home than it would in my own toilet; half of it spent on protecting my germaphobic ass by covering the bowl with tissue which i will not throw afterwards. If you’ve ever seen one in that state, chances are, I was there.

Flush.

21 thoughts on “CANNOT POOP IN OTHER PLACES

  1. Oh brave soul. Unlike you, great purveyor of the unsanitized, I have only done it twice beyond the confines of my humble abode. Both, of course, being emergencies.

    Anyway, Happy Birthday! (I do hope I got the subliminal message correctly :P)

  2. hahaha! the perfect topic first thing in the morning!
    though i have never done marking my territory
    by means of defecating.
    i just usually pee on people and places.

    if it’s your birthday, happy birthday!

  3. Dogs and other animals use known to pee on the limits of their terittories. Maybe man sometimes do that, to put marks on their ownerships and possessions.

  4. kapag tungkol pala sa jebs ang post mo, ibig sabihin birthday mo?

    COOL!!!

    Happy birthday!!! Wish ko ang madalas mong pag-jebs!

  5. Same here dude. Mahiyain ang pwet ko. Luckily, I’ve been able to avoid doing “it” in public toilets …

    So, is it your birthday? If it is Happy Birthday! 🙂

  6. Amazing. I never thought that there’s a subliminal message on this post. The releasing of human waste and birthday? Amazing.

    Happy birthday, by the way.

  7. Belated Happy B-day! Magka-bertdey pala kayo ng aking irog! Hehe!

    Ang saya talaga mag-poop. Ito ang oras kung saan nakapagmumuni-muni ako! Hehe!

  8. hello everyone! thanks for greeting me happy birthday… but it’s not my birthday.

    my birthday is on nov. 4

  9. Hahaha! Why are people greeting you happy birthday? Halos magkasabay lang pala birthday natin.

    Dude, you will NEVER get me to poop in a public toilet…Maybe if it was made of gold and if it had that French water spewing thingy. That tickles!

  10. oh its your bday?! happy bday!!!!!

    nako ayokong pumupoo rin sa ibang CR.. pero pag popoong-popoo na ako.. eh siyempre hayaan ng maghello philippines hello world ang jebs!

  11. ang layo pa pala ng birthday… sino ba kasi nagpasimula ng birthday na yan.

    anyway, i-jebs na lang ang kahihiyan.

  12. If territoriality is directly related to pooping in public, then consider me a voyager who has traveled a lot and bought houses in most of the countries I’ve visited. Need I say more? lol! According to the comments I’ve browsed through, it’s your birthday… So happy birthday if it really is! 😀

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