I had once said that I fear growing old; not because I want to live lengthily, but rather because I may have lived it too short. People’s wish lists are so ideal – they want to sky dive, bunjee jump, scuba, learn photography, make music etc. – these are often just results of trying to sound cool for their friendster profiles; but at what point will one consider himself fulfilled?
Truth is, man has to learn to be content to be fulfilled. It is only when he has been freed of regret that he may welcome death with open arms. As for me, I would rather die young than grow old. I would rather be dead than senile. But then again, I would also rather be dead than watch Wowowee. So you can say I’d just rather be dead.
No, this is not a suicide note. If I were to commit suicide I swear I would be taking more with me… I am drastic like this. I was only making the point that being old may be worse than death.
But then, does man really grow old? Maybe. I had never seen myself to be 25. Now I do not see myself to be 26. If I live to be 30, I shall consider it a success. But while I live, I would like to make the most out of it. I shall consider myself old when my body does not permit me anymore to do what it wants – The time when to dial the phone would take fifteen minutes, when I start pooping on my pants again, when my younglings begin to make decisions for me ..and I cant do anything about it. Blogging may prepare me for seniority; I can now be stuck in a room and keep myself productive. If I dont have a computer, I wish I will still have porn.
“Carpe diem!” they say, seize the day. Time is a passing, death is a coming, and you is a sleeping? shieeeet!
Maybe that’s why it was never my hobby to sleep. I already cut it from 6 to 4 hours so I could spend enough time blogging. Wanting to read that post that will make my day. That’s why I do not drown myself in drama, even if it seeps in my veins, I find it too unproductive to be melancholy. There is so much more to do than be self indulgent.
So yeah, I guess that’s what I’m trying to say. Do not hesitate… masturbate! Carpe diem!