STARBUCKSPEAK


I was in my daydreaming state this morning, just like any other morning, and somehow i remembered Tawtawn’s story about that asian guy in Starbucks.

*cue flashback music*

One day when all hell broke loose in the store he worked at, an asian guy came. The guy must’ve either been stupid or indifferent to Starbucks that he couldnt order anything ..and so tawtawn, who’s this really big guy who bullies me alot and wants to skydive (i just had to say it), got pissed and, either by sarcasm or the sheer willingness to get the order done, exclaimed “YOU WANT A GREEN TEA FRAPPUCCINO?!”

Just how weird was that? Why would you offer an asian guy a green tea frappuccino and not a mocha frappe?! But what’s even weirder, Starbucks now has green tea frappuccino..

*snap back to reality*

The Starbucks cup is an image projector even if it’s actually filled with instant coffee. It doesnt matter if you’re a kid from a fledging family; and that your allowance is only 1 dollar a day. When you’re in a Starbucks store, you’re treated well. The clerks make you to be the epitome of cool. Further into the system and you’d finally use Starbuckspeak.

Starbuckspeak: the only language accepted in Starbucks stores. Exaggerated coffee orders, the type that gets makes you go WTF?! eg. Can you.. like.. pass me the sugar.. coz my decaf double latte extra virgin olive oil mocha frappucino with soy is.. like.. y’know.. hella bitter.. or something.

How did Starbucks create such a trend to make them the bringer of good personae and be one of the world’s Fortune 1000 companies? Why it’s the facade of course – the smiling clerks, the coffee of the month, the incentives, the bear.. Everything promoting that cheery sunshiny feeling of goodmorning!

It’s not until you get to top management that you find the monopolistic mindset behind the company (just like microsoft). Now that they have money and power they open stores to compete with local coffee franchises beating them of revenues until they close. They have ties with coffee producers, more than every other coffee franchise. They now offer a variety of coffee that cater to every individual irregardless of sex, race, caste, nor religion… eg. GREEN TEA FRAPPUCCINO. And while they do all these, those who stand under the sun to pull beans for other coffee companies lose their jobs, not too many people until you do your research. Soon there may be no instant coffee to fill the Starbucks cup.

All in all, I just really wanted to say that over the passed months I’ve gotten to hate the coffee franchise because i felt they’ve grown too big. You know how everyone hates Microsoft because they’re so big, but everyone still uses Microsoft parts. Yeah, something like that.

[in honor of the guy who was rudely offered a green tea frappuccino]

MESOTHELIOMA – SILENT KILLER

There is an irony out there that is Mesothelioma. Lawyers are cashing in on it, webbies like me wanna talk about it, people are dying and nobody knows about it.

Mesothelioma or ‘asbestos cancer’ is a silent killer. You may have been exposed to asbestos for years before it even comes up. In the country, Mesothelioma is not much known. It is shun under its deep pronunciation even as people are constantly exposed to asbestos.

But I am not a doctor and I will not talk about how painful it is to have one. And since the doctors aren’t discussing the issue, let’s rest on the lawyers to tell us what to do.

This one chose the informative side

This one just told us how much money is involved when you sue your company

This one taps onto your patriotic side

And then there’s those who prove us lawyers can act.

And then there’s the guy who reminded us it’s no laughing matter.

End notes:
All respiratory diseases are painful killers.. still wanna smoke that cigarette? (I just lost half my readers with the cigarette remark)

iPHONE HACKED

Yet another story ProBlogger scums will have a bite on!!!

This is the story that’s making the world laugh out loud as of yesterday – the infamous Iphone got hacked. Previously, the Iphone had only been available to a certain provider (Cingular/AT&T) which made it suck big time, this aside from the not so cool features it had.

Well all the disappointment changed yesterday.. when a group of really cool peepz hacked into the Iphone and took a video using a different providers’ sim card with it (T-Mobile). Mind you, the Iphone had been unlocked before.. just not by a group of peepz who promised to tell everyone how to. Yay for open source hacky goodness!

To me that means I can now buy multitudes of Iphones for my minions in the Philippines because the Iphone out here (US) costs only $500 or about 23000 pesos; and I doubt it costs that much out there.

Overall, I don’t know if the video is true and I hope you don’t rest on my word. People are now cramming to create web apps to make the Iphone better. The future looks good, maybe I’d buy one sooner than later.

THE DOZIAN PRINCIPLE

The rationalization of faith is such a great topic. If you want to kill time, get a creationist and an evolutionist and watch them argue about the after life. You see, the topic of religion is an endless debate and can polarize its audience in the ways of Republicans and Democrats, Boston and L.A., East and West, socialists and capitalists.

But however long the debate goes.. nobody wins. So to save your ears from such endless arguments, allow me to introduce you to what is absolute and divine. I call it the “Dozian Principle”

What is the Dozian Principle?
The Dozian Principle is a machiavellian belief that everything is debatable; and that the winner of any argument is relative only to human ascertains on who can deliver what sounds most rational; which is, to say, not necessarily factual. The Dozian Principle does not deal with the argument itself but rather with the manner of arguing.

[Wow doesn’t that sound smart …I should get copyrights for this. Quick! somebody put this on Wikipedia! If there’s anything that already pertains to this, we should replace it.]

Application of the Dozian Principle
A knowledge of the Dozian Principle allows one to win arguments easily. The religious will be able explain themselves, the politicians will be able to make better sounding promises, men can now win arguments with their wives.

Examples of questions that can go either way (Dozian Arguments): What is the right religion? Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Why did the chicken cross the road? Are aliens real? Am I handsome? Am I fat? What is the meaning of life? What is the new black? etc.

Tips in winning Dozian Arguments

  • Be skillful in the art of raising your voice. Speaking loudly will give you more command. Use anger to support your points. If your opponent can be easily bullied, he will succumb to you in no time.
  • Learn the proper ways of interruption. A credible rival will swallow you easily. If you find yourself in such circumstance, be certain not to allow your opponent to fully express his point. Push your statements by constantly interrupting him. Before you know it, only you will have made sense.
  • Laugh at your opponent, he will look like a fool. Interrupt your opponent with random smirks; this will make him lose his focus, sometimes even question his own argument. If he is self-absorbed he will be pissed off and will act in such a way that should discredit him; and that’s exactly what you want.
  • Belittle your opponents statements. You shouldn’t make compromises when dealing with arguments; all statements other than yours are ‘absurd’ ‘horrid’ and ‘preposterous.’ If you’re charming enough you can even call your rival a liar. Remember, to win a trial, discredit the other side.
  • Use your opponents words to support your point. There is nothing better than making your opponent stupid by using his point to your advantage. Claim him to be adhering to your point and you will win. It doesn’t even have to be smart, people are abstract thinkers; your audience will relate to the most absurd ones you can come up with. Example: “You say there are no aliens, and that’s exactly the reason why I say there are aliens…”
  • Raise fear to gain support. What people do not know raises fear. What raises fear causes them to be vulnerable. Bully your opponent, make claims to the end times, tell them that his argument will affect others harshly.
  • Respond with a question. If your opponent wants an answer, maybe he should be the one to give it. Never be trapped in your rival’s argument, a question will most often drive to a point that supports his statement. Do not fall for it.
  • Respond with aphorisms. Wise words prompts one to look at himself. Interpretations are varied at this point and will often transcend your message with better understanding.
  • Drop names to support your argument. It is best to make sure that you follow your statements with names to show. Drop your names as if they were authorities in your field. The less famous they are, the more confused your opponent will be.
  • Claim something to be absolute. Even the sacrilegious hate being one. The rule of thought is that anyone who questions God is evil. Use this to your advantage. It may be your only good argument.

Here’s a video where the Dozian Principle come to play

End notes:
Sorry for another long post. Me thinks I should put up a cult now. The Dozian. ehehe..

CHILL

As of this day I am already withdrawing any connection to the mainstream blogosphere (at least for the moment), heading back to my cave and writing those weird epistomologicational posts I’ve always made. That starts now! I am also calling on everyone to drop those issues and set your mind on something else.

The end times are near, you need to watch Kathy Griffin. She is partly one reason why I became like this (including Stephen Colbert and Conan O’Brien) Let’s lighten up a bit, shall we?!

Here’s her take on Ryan Seacrest

part2

Now that you’ve got that smile on your face, can anybody tell me if this guy is famous yet?

and to whoever took that 17 second video… howcome?