Second Year Highschool. A classmate of the high-society whose parents own a chain of conio restaurants asks me “Paolo, may ballpen ka?” Luckily I always carry extra pens with me so I give him one. Though instead of thanking me, he disgustingly gave back the pen and replied “Ano ‘to, kilometriko? Wala ka bang Pilot?”
I respond, “wala! mahal yun eh!”
“ay jologs” he mutters.
“ay kupal” i mutter too.
“ano sabi mo?!” he asks with a bullying tone.
“sabi ko kopya! gusto mo bang kumopya?!” I answer.
It is not hard to spot elitists, they abound in every corner of the Philippines. For the sake of perspective however, let me still define it to you: elitists are those who rant about how other people act so proletariat. A person who believes himself to rank highly in the caste, and displays this self-belief by mocking those who he thinks is lower than him. Hence, elitism is a form of social discrimination.The story above is a prime example. But how much of this trait rests in us?
which one are you?
The jolog elitist is still in the initial stages of elitism; he therefore acts poorly with it. For some weird reason – an MLM scam, winning a game show, winning the jueteng jackpot or the lottery – he instantly became rich and he feels the need to brag. He spreads his cash and goes around fanning it to himself. On certain occasions he may opt to slap someone with it. Inside he feels as if he had broken from the clutches of poverty and never will he return to it. He decides to do what is most prevalent of the rich – despise the poor.
However his lack of social pedigree threatens the very nature of his power. The Jolog Elitist is not a good courtier and he makes more enemies than friends. A means to an end, for as the Jolog Elitist cultivates envy among his peers so too does he spell his death. Pretty soon, if he is not killed by a neighbor, an in-law, or a drinking buddy, he will still have used up all his money giving gin-pomelo parties and buying song hits with his new BFF, Mila.
The middle class work hard for their money, it is their only excuse for acting rich. And why not? You yourself wouldn’t act impoverished if you were entitled to liquidity. Therefore the pseudo-conio elitist tries too hard to be as much a courtier of the rich as they are themselves, sometimes to the point of over acting.
As work is the pseudo-conio elitist’s excuse, it too is his weapon towards reaching the higher caste. He learns to multi-task, a trait he read from “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” …a book every yuppie has read. He drowns himself in grammar and tries to pronounce every english word correctly but he does not care about difference between the tagalog words’ “ng” and “nang.” After all, the rich does not care for that sort of stuff. He gives friendster testimonials flooded with the words “uber” and “epitomy;” little does he know he was using the previous wrongly and that the latter was mispelled.
He concerns himself with traffic and how beggars abound the city streets. This when he opts to knock at his car window when the beggar nears it dismissing the fact that they need help for the hypothesis that they are part of a syndicate. Among the other things he is concerned about is how flooded it is, or how stupid filipino movies are – all without dwelling into a possible solution. The pseudo-conio/conio elitist is a rant machine.
Iho de Putas
The iho de puta is born of luxury; he was blessed with already rich parents. He was raised by a yaya, went to a good school, made friends with future politicians, and gets the best seats in parties and strip clubs. The Iho de Puta is shun from all forms of poverty even as it sets outside the village walls. His parents have made arrangements for him not to be in the presence of the lower class. If there was no driver, there was a school bus. If there was no school bus, his yaya would call a taxi. If there was no taxi, his yaya will have to wait.
It is the Iho de Putas’ seclusion from poverty that keeps him protected, but it is also what makes him vulnerable. Did you ever meet the guy who managed the basketball varsity? He is rich, but he does not know how to play. Life has it going for him until he is out of his parents’ shadow. That’s when he gets fucked up.
Glamorous, fashionable, diva-esque, trendy, sophisticated – these are the words used to describe the Imeldific. And while I consider her more to be Monarchy, I shall use this word to describe those who seem to sleep on their money. The Imeldific are those who have something to brag about …and they do. Their arms are filled with gold, their faces lit with botox, their cars are pimped, they walk with a huge handbag. The Imeldific owns his time and space; he controls it …like Hiro Nakamura but with less smiling.
The Imeldific sees himself as an example of greatness, which he often implies towards people. He shall be addressed with respect even if he opts to call me “boy” “hoy” “uy” “manong” and “pogi.” He sees himself as a leader even if the only thing he’s done prior is movies. He creates philosophies of how man should live and demands for you to listen, for he has put himself at the center. He is a facade.
The supreme form of elitists; demi-gods of the conio world. The Monarch has reached what most of us could only dream of and is seen as an example of class and elegance. They promote themselves not by bragging about their fortune. They’re done with that.. they see wealth from a spiritual perspective. They do not concern themselves with the poor; they have enough money to last a lifetime.
And while they lurk high up in their cloud of gold, those of us who are so far below blame them for our misery …as if all of them cheated their way to the top. It’d be up to them to prove us wrong. Why does the rich always have to prove themselves to the poor? Why not the other way around?