STARBUCKSPEAK


I was in my daydreaming state this morning, just like any other morning, and somehow i remembered Tawtawn’s story about that asian guy in Starbucks.

*cue flashback music*

One day when all hell broke loose in the store he worked at, an asian guy came. The guy must’ve either been stupid or indifferent to Starbucks that he couldnt order anything ..and so tawtawn, who’s this really big guy who bullies me alot and wants to skydive (i just had to say it), got pissed and, either by sarcasm or the sheer willingness to get the order done, exclaimed “YOU WANT A GREEN TEA FRAPPUCCINO?!”

Just how weird was that? Why would you offer an asian guy a green tea frappuccino and not a mocha frappe?! But what’s even weirder, Starbucks now has green tea frappuccino..

*snap back to reality*

The Starbucks cup is an image projector even if it’s actually filled with instant coffee. It doesnt matter if you’re a kid from a fledging family; and that your allowance is only 1 dollar a day. When you’re in a Starbucks store, you’re treated well. The clerks make you to be the epitome of cool. Further into the system and you’d finally use Starbuckspeak.

Starbuckspeak: the only language accepted in Starbucks stores. Exaggerated coffee orders, the type that gets makes you go WTF?! eg. Can you.. like.. pass me the sugar.. coz my decaf double latte extra virgin olive oil mocha frappucino with soy is.. like.. y’know.. hella bitter.. or something.

How did Starbucks create such a trend to make them the bringer of good personae and be one of the world’s Fortune 1000 companies? Why it’s the facade of course – the smiling clerks, the coffee of the month, the incentives, the bear.. Everything promoting that cheery sunshiny feeling of goodmorning!

It’s not until you get to top management that you find the monopolistic mindset behind the company (just like microsoft). Now that they have money and power they open stores to compete with local coffee franchises beating them of revenues until they close. They have ties with coffee producers, more than every other coffee franchise. They now offer a variety of coffee that cater to every individual irregardless of sex, race, caste, nor religion… eg. GREEN TEA FRAPPUCCINO. And while they do all these, those who stand under the sun to pull beans for other coffee companies lose their jobs, not too many people until you do your research. Soon there may be no instant coffee to fill the Starbucks cup.

All in all, I just really wanted to say that over the passed months I’ve gotten to hate the coffee franchise because i felt they’ve grown too big. You know how everyone hates Microsoft because they’re so big, but everyone still uses Microsoft parts. Yeah, something like that.

[in honor of the guy who was rudely offered a green tea frappuccino]

27 thoughts on “STARBUCKSPEAK

  1. Yesterday, I was in Trinoma (Ayala’s still unfinished mall in Quezon City) with some friends, and I passed by Seattle’s Best. Guess what I had found in their tarpaulin ad?

    Yep. They also have green tea frapp.

  2. when will you listen???

    Starbucks is evil i tell you, EVIL!

    come to think of it, if it’s a blog it will win your Evil Awards. nyahahha!

  3. starbucks? never akong nasilaw sa kape nito. sa 3 in 1 solve na ako!

    and minsan hindi ko magets when someone wants to drink coffee eh bakit kailangan pang maglabas ka ng hundred plus bucks para sa isang baso, wala bang nescafe, asukal at coffeemate sa bahay nila?(ngayon may hazelnut na coffeemate na! mas masaya!) hehe.

  4. There’s just something about coffee made by other people. Lolzzz.

    Although that green tea frap for ‘Asians’ is just bizarre.

  5. Green Tea Frapp has a weird taste. But I like the Azuki Frappuccino.

    I don’t see hanging out at Starbucks as boosting my social status. I’ve always been a a coffee fan and I like tasting coffee which I can’t make at home (too lazy at home so I only have 3-in-1’s there).

    But for others? Maybe. Especially those who like being seen hanging outside Starbucks but not buying anything. Or maybe just sharing one tall cup of coffee. Haha.

  6. ayos yung pic ha =)…intravenous na ang kape kaya kong maglagay ng IV tell me kung merong interesado haha

    starbucks pffttt…

  7. Coffee is Coffee I will say. And I love it! Haha!

    I’ve always known Dr. Evil was behind Starbucks! You know I support anything Evil!

    Mwahahaha!

  8. ick! green tea frap..i can feel the aftertaste now…

    just curious, how did the hype started nway? inquiring minds need to know 🙂

  9. Lol. Just came from there with my civie, we tried their… Mango Passionfruit and Raspberry Blackcurrant (he doesn’t drink coffee) frapps. Crap. I really really could have made it at home X_x.

    However, I do love studying at Starbucks and other coffee shops. Something in the air (the smell of coffee?) makes it perfectly conducive for learning.

  10. matagal na ung green tea frap ng starbucks diba? i remember, nasa manila pa ko.. un na ang drink of choice ng kapatid ko. well, uhmm… status symbol of choice. it says. you’re cool and cniotic because of the starbucks logo on the cup. and new age-y because of the green tea. oh! and tweetums because of the lactose-rich cream on top.

  11. nung nagboom yata ang benefits ng green tea kung anu-anong products na ang lumabas. pati nga sa mga napkins may green tea leaf scent na rin.

    ano kaya ang susunod? green tea flavored condoms?

  12. I managed to get my American guests to go to FIGARO instead of STARBUCKS…and after the first sip, no effort was needed to convince them which one was better..:)

  13. seattle’s best became a part of the starbucks corporation in 2003… i agree,kahit ung kabarkada kong social climber eh she thinks that drinking that overrated, overtly expensive fraps eh shes super conio na when infact na she doesnt know which coffee to order, she always get cappucino and just toss it away coz she doesnt like the taste kc nga idiot she keeps mistaking the frapp as cappucino and then drinks mine wahahahhahaha… i dunno why but i love their mugs though kahit nescafe na laman non everyday… i like their drip coffee and cafe mocha double shot, not into the fancy smanshy fraps, lasang tubig na… coffee bean and tea leaf is better but i noticed na walang large(grande) available lng ung large(medium) cup sa pinas which sucks

  14. Nakakatawa yung mga feeling-mayaman sa starbucks na hindi naman talaga mahilig sa kape.

    Yung pumupunta lang doon for the sake of looking cool. Nakakaasar.

    Kapag tinignan mo naman ng maigi, parang hindi nauubos ang laman ng mga cups nila! Hehe!

  15. i haven’t tried anything starbucks. too bad for me i guess… i just do not like the idea of coffee costing more than gasoline. i go to pinoy-owned coffee shops instead.

  16. wala pang ten times ako nag starbucks.. i mean bakit ako gagastos ng ganon kalaki for a cup of coffee, manood na lang ako ng sine…hahaha

    at my traumatic experience ako jan… nung last punta ko eh may nakita ako na parang executive ng isang company…medyo chubby at talagang intimidating ang dating…pero man..bumaba ang tingin ko sa lower buddy niya…grabe!!! ang haba ng nasa crotch niya…parang monstrous! i mean parang may hose at ng ituro kos a friend ko eh nagmadali kaming umalis…it was just scary…tapos napatingin yung guy sa amin at lalo kaming medyo natakot…sa labas ng rob manila na lang kami nagliwaliw habang dala namin ang starbuko namin…grabe…

    para siyang panaginip na nakakatakot…its so mababaw sa kwento pero yung time na yun…parang vampira yung guy sa starbucks…

  17. Hey, if you don’t know how to order your coffee then go somewhere else. It’s like buying an expensive purse but not wearing it with the right outfit. Definitely a fashion (or java) no.

  18. i freakin’ hate green tea frap and i’m not so in love with starbucks… i prefer coffee bean and tea leaf which suck because the only one here in NorCal is in SanFo… suxass…

  19. speaking from a not-so-pleasant experience, asians (japanese mostly) tend to order green tea fraps more than any other race. but it’s really no excuse why someone should assume somebody’s order just because he’s from a certain continent.

    as for the coffeeshop itself… no comments. next time na lang.

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