THE BILL CLINTON IN ME

If you had tuned in to this blog earlier, you’d find that I had already declared my candidacy in the 2028 presidential elections, that’s when I’ll be of legal age to become the country’s president. I declared it 20 years early because I want people to subconsciously think of me when they go to the polls, and vote for me. I have since began a campaign to boost my chances. Today I shall speak again.

Tired of The Endless Promise of Focusing on the Masses, Change Me!
(Ibahin Niyo Ko!)


A War Against Pork Barrel
If you have a government that releases roughly 20 billion pesos in pork barrel and you have 20 million of the population living under poverty, logic tells you there must be something terribly wrong. It does not add up, why would members of congress get that much money while millions starve. This is unacceptable and, when I become president, I will call out to them to fully give it up.

Now, this isn’t new story anymore and sure enough I expect the congress to oppose this call and to eventually succeed in keeping their money; after all, democracy has its ways. And it is when democracy doesn’t work that I shall declare martial law, get the budget intended for them, tell them to start making laws instead of infrastructure projects, bring back the democracy the following day … and then expect for them to undo such unlawful act for the remainder of my term.

Needless to say, I will get that darn money from them.. by hook or by crook! The question therefore is what to do with this money? As your president, I already have an answer for that.

A Comprehensive Housing Plan and Real Estate Regulation
I believe that owning property is the first step to financial freedom because it gives you a reliable source of cash. Homes! That is where the money will go. A comprehensive housing plan that will put the poorest in society in a place where they would thrive. I dont expect to make mansions for everyone, just a place of dwelling that’s not beside the railroad or a dumpsite.

As far as real estate is concerned, my administration will give a set of guidelines to developers and to homeowners (which should be sold in bookstores). Maybe a family of 8 shouldn’t be approved for a 2 bedroom house (companies do this already, meaning approve loans based on the number of people living in a house), maybe a town can only have a certain amount of people living in it to prevent over population. If I say stop developing houses in Makati, then people would go elsewhere. And if I said stop developing houses in the NCR and provided developers with benchmarked lands for industrialization, maybe they’d help ease the capital’s over-population

Micro Loans and Tax Incentives for Entrepreneurs
With more than 20% of the country’s population living in poverty, I think the government should step in and help. Oh yeah.. we’re talking about my government here! This is totally not a sarcastic look about what the government isnt doing! Lolz!

So yeah, under my administration, I will ask the social welfare to be secretaries for the business sector (coz they always say they dont have enough money to get the beggars out of the streets). If they cant do their job I’d just tell them to research what types of businesses the masses can get into to help them grow financially, and maybe use their social working skills to inform the lower caste. And then I could tell the banks, or at least those willing, to give out micro-loans.

I will also tap the private sector to help make jobs in the littlest ways possible by giving tax incentives to entrepreneurs and small corporations. I dont know if tax refunds are present in the Philippines but, if it exists, I dont think there is enough information on how people could get it. If there isn’t any program for that, then my administration would go into it as well. Tax refunds basically say that if you earn more money, hence more taxes, the government would pay you a refund based on certain qualifications.

My administration will also create a 401K plan for everyone. This allows employees to take out a portion of their earnings and invest it in a company of their choice – almost like buying stocks but is open to even the poorest people so long as they are employed.

Implementation
How do you assure such things to happen should there be a plan. Transparecy maybe, firmness in authority, the spread of information – giving 20 million Filipinos a better life is hard (you dont even know if they want it), but where they have nothing what have you got to lose?

End notes:
I also plan to get the Coco Levy Fund and use it to as payment for the country’s debt, apporve an ID system for the country, greatly tax the church (Oooh.. evil! Why not? They contribute just as much for the suffering and yet you only blame the government!) and imprison the band Cueshe. Now are you gonna vote for me?

12 thoughts on “THE BILL CLINTON IN ME

  1. Oooh!!! Let me add: BIRTH CONTROL! BIRTH CONTROL! BIRTH CONTROL!

    Really. The church here is annoying. They truly believe that we can stop overpopulation through the rhythm method. >_< Pao for Prez! Ha!

  2. A lot of good ideas. I’d also set up a live cam in the senate and congress so people could see if their candidates just sleep there or worse even go to work …

    An edited version which shows dates of absences, sleeping footages, their property, number of goons/bodyguards, court cases and term achievements will be aired 24/7 on a government channel during the campaign period for the next elections.

    And oh yeah … add a stricter criteria for candidacy.

    I also believe martial law is the end solution if all else fail. Aminin na natin na makukulit tayo 😛

  3. Very interesting good luck in your race to become president. You have very realistic ideas…what am I talking about? I don’t know anything about politics.

    Ohhh I agree with conqueror! Philippines more and cheaper birth control. Legalized abortion because I’m sick of tripping on a fetuses when I’m walking down the street and also legalize divorce please. Teach people you can’t have a mistress and stay married at the same time.

  4. Oh yeah, I forgot!

    You just have to include that goddamned April Boy Regino in the maximum security jail you’ll throw Cueshe in.

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