THE SADISTIC PLEASURES OF BIG BROTHER


For the past two years, I had been speculative about the real identity of Kuya who seem to have a knack at playing god. Originally I thought that he was Boy Abunda because he spoke like a diva. And then there’s the part where he suddenly sprang up while Will Devaughn and Baron Geisler were talking about him. But I think the best theory is that there is more than one Big Brother (using a voice changing software) and Boy Abunda must be one of them. After all, isn’t he the manager of Mariel and Bianca?

But then, let’s get out of the conspiracy theories and just talk about how girly-man this guy is. I mean, even it weren’t Boy Abunda, Kuya’s sadistic pleasures reveal that he’s one of those bad gay dudes:

  1. He made Mariel a housemate without her consent. I dont know if it’s right to push a person into something she doesn’t want to do, the dictionary defines it as “coercion.” Last night, he also put Toni “I heart” Gonzaga into the fray. So either the show is scripted or Kuya’s doing something terribly wrong.
  2. But however wrong his actions, Kuya always manages to keep himself right with his eloquence. He rewards you for doing a bad deed, he praises you for not wanting to obey. Remember my Dozian Principle? Kuya’s a master of that.
  3. Then there’s the part where he dresses boys in girly costumes. Something the Philippine entertainment industry is famous for. I guess it’s part of morale building.. partly to get the boys attached to their feminine side, so he knows whom he can hit on once they go outside.
  4. And while he’s busy loving the boys, he tries so hard to ejaculate tears from the women, subjecting them to pain. He makes the ma-arte ones eat street food, he makes streetwise act like beauty queens, and he makes the beauty queens fall in love with his prince charmings. Such a pair-maker this Kuya is.
  5. Kuya’s genes have the firm stupidity of a male and the demanding care of a female. The show is definitely stupid, but what makes for it is the reality of emotions you see from the housemates. All brought to us by this coward who sits behind monitors all day, checking out busts and pelvics. Oh, and he buys candle holders worth 2500 pesos. Sooo gay!

Oh well, Toni’s inside. A good idea for a show that’s running stupid. That’s gonna keep me glued until for the week. Thanks Rens for the tip.

DO YOU THINK MY VIDEOS ARE BORING?

This is the product of me trying to become a vlogger: (mainly, a 3-minute take at vlogging expectations and stereotypes.. yuck!)

Hmmm.. I recently got a comment that my videos tend to be plain. Honestly, I could try and invest alot more time on them, but I kinda have a life. So if anybody wants to get quality videos off of me, I should probably get paid. Lolz!

YUWIE… WATCH OUT!

Yet another Samaritan who wants to share his Google pie, or so it seems, Yuwie.com is a social networking site just like Friendster, Myspace and Facebook but with an awesomely cool catch – it pays you!

The overall concept doesn’t look so bad, it’s free and it pays you simply by spending time in the site. I find the promise too good to be true though.. and you know what they say about “would be’s” and “could be’s” ..baloneys! Check out their video:

Now let me tell you why you wont get to the bottom of this pie ($10,000) ..because there has to be 88,000 people under your belt with at least 1000 pageviews every month in order for you to get top prize. That’s realistically possible only with alot of Hannah Montana accounts! Heck, I only get 64 pageviews in my Friendster, and I’m already lovable! Lolz!

Now, let’s see the median amount of their breakdown (go to the 2:30 time in the video). In case you’re thinking about the hierarchy and the part where you can get real money every month. Or at least the point where you feel rewarded. Go ahead.. check! Tell me what you think!

And tell me what you think about the site as well.

Anyway, irregardless of how uncool I think this is, I still joined because I love contradicting myself and I don’t like the idea that a friend may someday start earning money. Plus, like I said, it’s free. (And that’s the only reason why it’s even legal). Oh and guess who recruited me: Jehzeel!

ARAW NG PATAY = DAWN OF THE DEAD

I never had a concrete Halloween experience; no decorations in the house, no costume parties, no pumpkin pies. The littlest taste I had of it was a bad Trick or Treat night. You see, when one walks around the village as a hunchback, he probably deserves more than Halls, Mentos, Kopiko or any of those candies found at the Suking Tindahan.

The Stork did it for me…

Let’s face it, Halloween is not something pinoys know how to celebrate. Sure there may be bits and pieces of western freaks who become draculas on that day but the general public would rather spend time at the cemetery or watch Magandang Gabi Bayan. Our Latin background have put such importance on the passers-away that we’d rather just call the occasion Araw ng Patay …meaning, Dawn of the Dead.

And true to its title, it is not a day when we dress our little Catholic kids in ghoulish costumes to go around knocking on doors begging people for candy just as the pagans did 1000 years ago (and the Christians were killing them.) Rather, it is a day when we pray to our descendants in the hope that at least one of them lived their life good enough and is now spending eternity in heaven. And maybe, just maybe, they could hook us up. It’s called Intercession.

But there are other players in this fiesta: the supernaturals. I call them the saling ket-ket or the epals. For one, they were never alive but they somehow take part in our celebration for the dead. I guess it’s because of our folklore …passed on from generation to generation by word of mouth. Ah yes, the word-of-mouth is a pinoy trait. No wonder these things continue to thrive.

  1. The Manananggal – She can fly but she has to split into two first and for some reason, she can only make her way around the Philippines. She must be patriotic like this, or maybe she doesn’t have a visa to come eat the white meat of America.
  2. The Mangkukulam – The scientists are already studying the science of voodoo. So I guess it is real. I think it’s good for business – “Mangkukulam For Hire: Hurt Others without Revealing Yourself” I already have someone in mind. Lolz!
  3. The Kapre – A very tall man that nobody sees. hmmm…
  4. The Duende – Famed to have kept Cinderella and Santa Claus company, the dwarf is probably the only meaningful contribution the Irish have had in this world. (and St. Patrick’s Day, of course)
  5. The White Lady – You don’t know if she’s a lady, but everybody considers her to be one. I think there’s a bit of political incorrectness in that. Guys dont appreciate their sexuality to be trampled like that.. maybe that’s why they’re always stopping people going to Baguio. Lolz!

Ok, that’s it for me. I’ll mention the others soon…

THE PERILS OF SINGLE LIFE

It could not have been more coincidental. An exact-time-exact-place sort of thing; I found her with another guy at a McDonald’s across the hotel I was staying. I turned around just as she saw me and ran for the door never to see her again. And just like that we split up, the only love story I would ever come to tell.

Five years hence and I am yet to find that girl for whom I could invest a similar level of emotion as the last one. Even if you don’t want to it’s hard not to compare. Highschool and college was already memorable in itself; all these memories are bound to be connected to her – friends and experiences. Nobody said moving on was gonna be easy… but the biggest, craziest hurdle came from when I re-entered the dating pool:

  1. Women are the most vicious creatures in the planet, they want you to portray a male version of themselves.
  2. Half of the women who fornicate with you have already thought of the wedding.
  3. All the quiet women are taken. Most who are left are either loud or dramatic.
  4. Men are innately stupid brought by the lack of Mitochondrial DNA.
  5. Women will say “awwwww” for every unique way you tell them you love them. This forces you to be creative.
  6. Women who do not love flowers are hypocrites.
  7. Even women who ask to be slapped need to be respected. It’s called Political Correctness.
  8. A woman will ask a question to convey a command. Example: when she asks “does this wall need to be repainted?” She actually means “You should repaint this wall now.”
  9. Women compare…
  10. If a woman likes you, she will always agree to whatever you say. When you get together though, the roles have to change.

Oh and did you hear.. Happyslip sold out! Lolz!