SEXING THE ENVIRONMENT

The Philippines is a disaster-friendly area. A tropical country to begin with, it is as well on the pathway of every darn typhoon in the Pacific bringing forth the floods and landslides (and everytime there is a landslide we blame it on illegal loggers coz they’re easy scapegoats for developers who wanna build everywhere). It rests on the ring of fire which makes for an earthquake-prone-Mayon’s-gonna-explode-again environment. Then there’s the fact that it’s over-populated and more than half of us would rather pee on the street, especially when drunk.

Ah! Good thing there aren’t any tornadoes in the country yet! But that doesn’t look to be such an afterthought anymore. But anyway, today I’m sure many peepz will talk about what you can do to save the environment, so I’d rather talk about what you actually do:

  1. You use aerosol sprays.
  2. You throw excess cooking oil by pouring it into the kitchen sink.
  3. Your computer is on 24/7!
  4. You throw garbage anywhere you want..
  5. You share this thought: In principle it would be stupid to clean the garbage can because it’s only filled with.. uhm.. well.. garbage.
  6. You do not bother to check the energy efficiency of your appliances. You can begin with your light bulbs – fluorescent instead of incandescent.
  7. You pee anywhere (and you dont wash your hands after coz duh there’s no place to wash)
  8. You use electricity wrongfully – you keep the lights on when you’re not using it, your refrigerator is running all the time, and you watch stupid nonsense on TV (Pinoy Big Brother nanaman!)
  9. When you kill someone, you throw their corpse in the Pasig River. They would have made good compost if they buried instead.
  10. Your cellphone charger has made a throne out of your socket.
  11. You wont plant trees coz it’s too much exercise for your office laden ass.
  12. You do not know how to properly dispose batteries, fluorescent lights, computers, refrigerators and air conditioners.
  13. You clean your garden trimmings and fallen leaves by burning them.
  14. Your clothes all came from some animal – aka. your older brother.
  15. You would never save a fish from drowning.
  16. You wouldn’t sleep on a tree to save it from being chopped.
  17. You would eat more veggies to help the environment.. but then you fart more. Same thing!
  18. You smoke, and spit, and throw the butts everywhere
  19. You wouldn’t shop eco-friendly because for some reason they’re more expensive
  20. You use the car all the time coz your skin reacts violently when it jumps PH.

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