THE PERILS OF SINGLE LIFE

It could not have been more coincidental. An exact-time-exact-place sort of thing; I found her with another guy at a McDonald’s across the hotel I was staying. I turned around just as she saw me and ran for the door never to see her again. And just like that we split up, the only love story I would ever come to tell.

Five years hence and I am yet to find that girl for whom I could invest a similar level of emotion as the last one. Even if you don’t want to it’s hard not to compare. Highschool and college was already memorable in itself; all these memories are bound to be connected to her – friends and experiences. Nobody said moving on was gonna be easy… but the biggest, craziest hurdle came from when I re-entered the dating pool:

  1. Women are the most vicious creatures in the planet, they want you to portray a male version of themselves.
  2. Half of the women who fornicate with you have already thought of the wedding.
  3. All the quiet women are taken. Most who are left are either loud or dramatic.
  4. Men are innately stupid brought by the lack of Mitochondrial DNA.
  5. Women will say “awwwww” for every unique way you tell them you love them. This forces you to be creative.
  6. Women who do not love flowers are hypocrites.
  7. Even women who ask to be slapped need to be respected. It’s called Political Correctness.
  8. A woman will ask a question to convey a command. Example: when she asks “does this wall need to be repainted?” She actually means “You should repaint this wall now.”
  9. Women compare…
  10. If a woman likes you, she will always agree to whatever you say. When you get together though, the roles have to change.

Oh and did you hear.. Happyslip sold out! Lolz!


23 thoughts on “THE PERILS OF SINGLE LIFE

  1. women love flowers.

    and women will get you to say they are pretty by saying out loud how ugly they are. you’re expected to contradict them of course.

  2. Ashamedly I have to agree with you about women… If my boyfriend sees this entry, he’ll turn around and say “See!”

    Great perspective!

  3. haha. that was interesting, man. i’m not so sure if they’re all true though. if it’s my feminist upbringing in school, i really don’t know. they’re fun to read, nevertheless. 🙂

  4. okay.

    all women are secretly plotting to kill you…

    and i am the mastermind…

    its all true, but you didnt have to say it out loud…

    good luck to finding yourself a date. lol

  5. Hah, NOT ALL women are like that. Puh-leese! And am I THAT loud? Haha.

    And excuse me? So now I’m a hypocrite? I don’t think so. I can think of a thousand other things that I’d want to receive, but flowers? No, thank you.

    Pfft. I mean, really. I can say the same for men. Harhar!

  6. Hmmm, you’re lucky that you’re still standing pao. I could’ve sworn that women would’ve trooped to your house by now and burned it! Hahahaha.

  7. aba.. dami ding nag-react na girls… hahhaha… i agree with what you said… women try to change men something, someting… cant remember sorry…

    parang walang nagging part dito sa mga statements mo?

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