Another Lesson in the Animal Kingdom

The weighing scale ruined my day at 9 in the morning. I’ve already had an empty stomach running for 12 hours and it still promoted a five pound weight gain since last week. “Bah humbug!” I said and ranted all the way to the kitchen where I was sarcastically weclcomed by ham, <i>longganisa</i> (Philippine sausage), and rice.

“We’re expecting visitors.” Mom said happily as she cooked egg trying to change my mood with her motherly smile. It was then that I said <i>”Bwiset na pagkain na yan!”</i> (meaning, <b>#$@#%^ this food</b>)

Mom told me not to curse in front of the table and I responded saying that my words were purely semantic. It was the proper word for what I wanted to say that conveyed the exact meaning of what I felt at that moment. “What word would you have me use?” I told her to which she replied “Maybe if you controlled yourself from eating then you wouldn’t be cursing at all.”

I always knew I inherited my mothers genes. She’s the only one who could advise me properly by making an underhanded insult. I should’ve just shut up before she rubbed me of my insecurity.

Mom, 1. Paolo, 0.

But because I inherited my mother’s genes, surely I had to say something smart alecky. So I told her, “if I say things different maybe I’d be perceived differently… From now on all my cuss words will be replaced with the word “Amen’ ..<i>Amen na pagkain yan!</i>”

<b>Lesson in the animal kingdom: Weary the cat that barks; he is a fox.</b>