Where the Blowjob Got Its Name?

Apparently, and the fact that I was dreaming about Peter Petrelli, even though it happened at night, no part of my previous post qualified as a one night stand.. and oh did I hear of it! In text and calls and YM messages, my yaoi-watching, super-junior-adoring, emo-loving friends had expressed their disgust at me not crossing the sexual bloglines and fulfilling what they predicted I would do before turning 30… Come Out!

Well, sorry to say, I am as oaty as ever, but not yet as fruity. *Create that visual in your head.. say ‘Eww’.. and come back!* So to make up for that ALLEGED false marketing scheme to bring over Heroes fans over to my recently peniled blog (pagerank nil, thank you very much!), here’s a hell-hath-no-fury dose of sexual content straight from your philosophical bastard.

WHERE DID THE ‘BLOWJOB’ GET ITS NAME

INTRODUCTION

I dont know if the heavens still created people who wouldn’t give oral pleasure. Of course, the ancients’ lack of technology permitted us to be secretive more than now but the idea remains – Did Cinderella blow the prince? How about Snow White’s dwarfs? Did Pinocchio ever receive head (weren’t there sphincters)? Did Tinkerbell, in her love for Peter Pan, ever thought of how hard it would be for a pixie to give oral pleasure to a flying man!? No.

You see, the reason why these stories end in “they lived happily ever after” is because of the gruesome details that would’ve followed – foreplay, fellatio, cunnilingus, sex, orgasm – repeated over and over and over again. Let your imagination run wild people ..it’s fiction! And fiction, as I say, is purely semantics – words used at the right time to the right audience. In the same way we use “the birds and the bees” to kids or “that thing you do” with other couples, sex, for the longest time, wasn’t just a missionary’s position. That’s why the missionary position is called the missionary position; it’s boring! Surely we have packaged sex along with the head.. and all these semantics, ergo fucking, ergo blowjob + multi-positional sex.

You wouldn’t think Samson lost all his power just by the hair, did you? There was a woman involved and she knew how to fuck. The French spy Matahari, one of the greatest spies of the 20th century, responsible for the death of millions of French soldiers during world war 1; she too knew how to fuck. Monica Lewinski… she didn’t fuck the president, she only gave him a blowjob and look what it made of him – a huge dick! Point is, fellatio is not as innocent to humankind as portrayed.

“For as far as the history of man exists, so did the blowjob.”
Paolo Mendoza, 1981- present

The question therefore: Were there other words used in history to refer to blowjob? And where did the blowjob get its name?

Question 1 – What Other Words Referred to the Blowjob in History?
Sadly I am not a historian so I dont really know what it’s been called for the past 10,000 years. For all I know there had been several ways of calling it until the party-poopers of the Church called it Sodomy; with it, man-love, anal sex and the idea of sulphuric rains which nobody witnessed coz the sole survivor, Lot, was not allowed to see it. (source, The Bible)

Question#2 – Where did the Blowjob get its Name?

Slang. “do fellatio on” sense is from 1933, as blow (someone) off, originally among prostitutes (blow job first recorded 1961 in the sexual sense; as recently as 1953 it meant “a type of airplane”). (source)

There you go. I’ll certainly hear of this tomorrow.. meanwhile here’s Super Junior for the cap.


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[written in honor of Nica. PS, They all look alike. Lolz!]

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